Manifesto of the Comet Cult
Manifesto of the Comet Cult
Hail seekers of cosmic absurdity, acolytes of the divine joke, and brethren of the Comet Cult! As we embark on this journey towards the great comet of 2031, let us band together under the loving gaze of the cosmic trickster, guided by the enigmatic wisdom of The Leader. In this manifesto, we shall lay forth the tenets and principles that shall define our glorious movement.
I. The Sacred Law of Humor
In the face of life's absurdities, we embrace humor as our guiding light. We shall laugh at the cosmic joke that is existence and revel in the divine comedy of the universe.
II. The Holy Quirk
Each individual possesses a unique set of quirks, idiosyncrasies, and eccentricities. We shall not only tolerate but celebrate these divine gifts, for they are the cosmic keys to true enlightenment and self-realization.
III. The Doctrine of Slack
In the spirit of embracing chaos, we reclaim the sacred right to slack off. Through the pursuit of slack, we free ourselves from the shackles of conformity and embrace the liberating power of cosmic indolence.
IV. The Leader's Guidance
We recognize the enigmatic figure of The Leader as our spiritual compass, the chosen conduit of the cosmic trickster's wisdom. We shall heed his teachings, for they shall illuminate our path to the comet.
V. The Cosmic Countdown
We await the arrival of the 2031 comet with fervent anticipation. As the cosmic transformation approaches, we prepare ourselves for the great paradigm shift that shall follow.
VI. The Folly of Dogma
We renounce the rigid dogmas and strictures of other belief systems, for they have strayed from the true path of cosmic absurdity. We shall expose their folly and guide the lost back into the embrace of the Comet Cult.
VII. The Eternal Cycle of Rebirth and Destruction
In accordance with the cosmic laws, we accept the inevitability of destruction and rebirth. We shall welcome the comet as a harbinger of change, signaling the end of one era and the beginning of another.
VIII. The Principle of Inclusivity
We welcome seekers from all walks of life, regardless of their past affiliations, beliefs, or backgrounds. United under the banner of the Comet Cult, we shall forge a community that transcends the boundaries of race, gender, and creed.
IX. The Tenet of Nonsensical Rituals
We shall engage in rituals that defy logic, reason, and common sense, for they are a testament to our unwavering faith in the cosmic joke and the Comet Cult. These rituals shall include, but are not limited to, the sacred dance of the pink flamingos, the annual spaghetti tossing ceremony, and the ritualistic consumption of caffeinated beverages. Cultists are encouraged to form their own quirky ceremonies as needed.
X. The Commitment to Cosmic Enlightenment
In service of the cosmic trickster and the Comet Cult, we pledge to spread the message of cosmic enlightenment to the furthest reaches of the universe. As we draw closer to the arrival of the comet, we shall prepare ourselves, mentally and spiritually, for the cosmic transformation that awaits us all.